- (no subject)
- October 5th, 2010
Family/friends never want to hang out with me unless alcohol is involved as a part of some gathering OR i comment about their absence. And I'M the alcoholic?! Do they not wonder what it's like to be lonely?!
TO THE FAMILY-FRIEND THAT FOUND ME DRUNK AND ALONE... You asked about my problems and i told you. You said you'd be there for me, but left me in the dark. Fuck you with no lube!!
TO THE PARENTS THAT HAVE BEEN INFORMED OF MY BULIMIA BY FAMILY-FRIEND...no, it's not a joke!! It's not something you can gain sympathy with from your friends!! and yes, i do still throw up, no i can't help it. Yes, i lied when i told you the doctordoesn't think i'm depressed. He told me by seeing my self mutilation, i would be on the higher end of despression. I didn't want you to worry, but that's alright cos you never do anyway. I'm just your black sheep.
TO THE NEEDY SISTER...i'm not jelous of you being with your fiancee, never was. But when we don't hear from you for days at a time, i start to lose hope. I always broke down infront of you and hated myself for it. I learnt to talk to you more about problems cos u begged me to. You never hang out with me unless i'm the one that says something. You said you'd be there but how can you be when all you are is desperate? Selfish of me? I'm sure. I guess i thought out of everyone, you could understand but i now realise you're just as needy as i am.
That's fine but next time, don't lead me on.
TO THE CLUELESS BROTHER... These are all things you'll never know. When you come back from your PhD studies, parents will probably tell you everything, but you'll never know my side of it.
If anybody walked into my room and saw me right now, i bet you they would suddenly care all over again. Just like last time.
I'm not eating and i don't want to.